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Wednesday, February 3, 2016

The Power of a Story

Today, my daughter turns five.

In her Montessori classroom, there are no cupcakes, no balloons, no party favors.  Instead, they will tell the story of her life.
The Earth goes around the sun, tra-la-la ...
The Earth goes around the sun, tra-la-la ...
Her classmates will gather in a circle around a candle "which represents the sun," and she will walk in a circle around it, holding a globe, once for each year of her life, while her classmates sing.
Around and around and around and around ...
The Earth goes around the sun, tra-la-la ...
After each turn around the sun, one of us will show the class a photo of her at that age, and remember something about her: how she took such good care of her first doll, how she loved her first tutu and was dancing from ealy on, how much fun she had playing with hula hoops at her first friend party, how she discovered her love of reading.  The story will begin with her birth, and continue until she reaches her current year.
A long time ago, Mommy and Daddy were very happy together (or: because they had [sibling]) ...
But they knew that someone very special was missing from their lives ...
(child says: "me!")
I love this ceremony, because it honors the power of our stories, the importance of giving children narrative roots that empower them to find their place in the world, to determine their futures. Even her classmates who were adopted as older children (there are some in my daughter's school) tell their stories, with as much information as they have.
The Earth goes around the sun, tra-la-la ...
It requires children to listen to one another, to learn about one another, to appreciate each other as unique individuals. It helps them to see people as people: multidimensional, growth-minded, incomplete.
Around and around and around and around ...
I wish that we were all so fortunate, that we took time to tell each other our life stories once each year, to look both backward and forward, to know each other in more than just three dimensions.  Perhaps it just takes too long now to circle the sun.  Or perhaps we are too afraid of the power we might discover in the retelling?

8 comments:

  1. They do this at DC2's Montessori too. (Today was Anya's birthday! She brought berries as a treat after. DC2 has been talking about it pretty steadily since we picked her up.)

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  2. This is an absolutely beautiful way to celebrate one's birthday. Such a great lesson for the children to learn, to listen to one another in this way. And it makes the birthday person feel so special I can imagine. Happy 5th birthday to your daughter!!

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  3. That's a gorgeous tradition, and much more meaningful than cupcakes or balloons. I'm totally curious what they do with twins. Do they have to walk together and hear the story together, or do they each get their own turn to walk around the sun?

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  4. Lovely. Happy birthday to your daughter!

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  5. Wow this is lovely, and so much more meaningful than sugar and plastic. I'd love to be celebrated that way, myself, though I would ALSO want sugar and presents...

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  6. What a beautiful ceremony. And one I wish we did. There's such power with claiming your story, but most of us don't learn to do this until we are much older.

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  7. Happy birthday to your daughter! (belated)

    Oh, how I love this ceremony, and the compassion and connection it builds.

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