How To React When Your Daughter Tells You She's Pregnant

(with apologies to my faithful followers who enjoy the recipes, because I have none today ...)

This is what I would send to my mother, if I had the guts to do so.  But it's probably not advisable, anyway.

Dear Mom,

When your daughter calls you on her way home from a great appointment at the Ob/gyn office, and you ask her what's new, and she says she's pregnant, don't just say, "I'm very happy for you" in a flat tone of voice that sounds like you're talking with a complete stranger.  She is, after all, your daughter.

Don't say "I guess your body was ready this time," as if there was something she could have done about her body the last times.  Same with "good luck" at the end and "I hope it all goes well."  Yes, we know that not every birth is a guarantee.  Thank you, we know that quite well.  But in this case, right now, during this phone call, you're supposed to feel and respond in joy.

Don't say, "I guess you haven't had an ultrasound yet," as if you know.  You didn't ask how far along she is.  Instead, ask, so she doesn't have to volunteer that she's 16 weeks along halfway through the conversation, making her feel as if she's forcing this information on you. 

Don't ask her if she's happy.  Tell her how happy you are, not just for her, but for you, too.  After all, you're going to be a grandparent again.  This should make you feel excited.

Don't tell her that she should be taking prenatal vitamins.  First, she is on her way home from the ob/gyn, who probably prescribed whatever she needed.  Second, she has been taking prenatal vitamins for the past three years in an effort to make her body hospitable, should it see fit to conceive and keep an embryo.

Sound excited.  Sound even more excited than her friends, whom she hardly ever sees, and who noticed the baby bump during her trip to California, sounded.

Act interested.  You could ask about the due date, or the sex, and you could ask how she's feeling.  You could ask if she needs anything.  You could ask her when you can celebrate with her by meeting for lunch.

After all, she is calling you first.  Before her boss, her other in-laws, before most of her friends (except the ones who happen to live in the blogging world.).  Treasure that gift.  Don't minimize it by saying that you figured it's none of your business.

Love,
Your Daughter