Accidents Happen, and Ginger Coconut Soup

It's been a stressful few weeks.  Cleaning, de-cluttering, phone calls, paperwork, making (and keeping) everything immaculate, upcoming travel again for S. and visit from the mother-in-law who will be watching the kids in the house during our first week of listing ... and then I had an accident the other day on the way to work.

I remember the split second when I realized what was going to happen; it was like slow motion, watching my car come closer to his bumper, but also like fast forward, because somehow my car was moving much faster than it should have been, given that I'd been at a complete stop.  It was exactly how I imagine a real time warp might be.  I still don't really understand what happened.

The other driver sustained a mild concussion.  My car sustained some serious damage.  I cried hysterically for half an hour, particularly when the ambulance took the other driver away on a stretcher, with his neck in a brace.  My stomach has been in knots; I called that afternoon to see how he was, and the next day to leave more insurance information with his wife, but I haven't called since, because I don't want him to feel like I'm stalking him.

We have pretty good insurance, and I hope that behind the scenes they are working with the other driver to get his bills paid, and make sure that he's OK.  I worry about him.  In the meantime, though, letters from lawyers offering to represent me have starting coming in, and that makes me worry, too.  Doubtless he's getting the same letters from people offering to represent him, and what if he decides it's worth his while to hire one?

Everyone reassures me that accidents happen, that I'm not the only one, that I should forgive myself.  I'm grateful for those kind words.  But trying to do so has made me appreciate just how many social forces work against forgiveness.  There are people out there whose jobs are to prevent us from forgiving each other and ourselves.  You'll pay for this, they say, even if we already have paid.

I'm eating ginger to calm my stomach.  And counteracting that with pints of ice cream and chocolate chip cookies, which I am pretending make me feel better.

What are the things you have a hard time forgiving yourself for?  Has anyone ever forgiven you for something you felt you didn't deserve to be forgiven for?

Ginger Coconut Soup (adapted from 101 cookbooks)

12 oz. wide egg or rice noodles
2 t. coconut oil
3 large minced shallots, minced
a handful or two of mushrooms (preferably cremini, shiitake, or something else flavorful)
2 14 oz. cans coconut milk (1 full and 1 half fat)
1 14 oz. can water
2-inch piece of ginger, peeled and grated
1 1/2 t. salt, or to taste

4 c. seasonal vegetables:
2 zucchini, cut into small cubes
20 broccoli florets
a fistful of asparagus tips
3 scallions, sliced

Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Salt well, and cook the pasta as the package directs. Drain and set aside.

While the noodles are cooking, melt the coconut oil in a large soup pot over medium high heat. Saute the shallots in coconut oil until just beginning to caramelize.  Add the coconut milk, water, ginger, and salt, and bring to a gentle boil.  Reduce the heat to medium-low and simmer for ten minutes.

During the last two or three minutes of cooking, add the vegetables to the simmering coconut broth, and cook until just tender. Arrange a pile of noodles in each bowl, and ladle vegetables and broth over the noodles.  Garnish, if desired, with chopped cilantro.