Why I am telling the blogging world about this when I won't even tell my own mother for at least another month or more, I don't know.
But late last week I found out that my BFN ... wasn't.
I almost don't know what to feel right now. I want to feel excited. But instead, it's like I'm waiting for it to go wrong, like it's only a matter of time before it goes wrong again. Am I doing this to protect myself?
The timing couldn't have been more ironic: I'd barely started to adjust to the new medication, I'd just made the decision to start yoga teacher training in September, the due date will be at the beginning of the three busiest months of my work calendar (which means a leave that will be more working from home than actual leave time).
And yet, parenting is about learning to give up control, isn't it? Maybe I didn't learn that lesson well enough the first time around ...
You are all hereby sworn to secrecy. But I'm glad to have some people sending positive energy. We have a long way to go, and there are very few people who know me in "real life" that I can trust with this right now.
Woo-hoo Congratulations!!!! So happy for you, you're right it is all about giving up control, we too had to be reminded of that! Enjoy this fantastic news:)
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness! I am so excited for you!
ReplyDeleteYes, I believe you are trying to protect yourself - it's hard not to. BUT you have the new meds now so hopefully all will go well. Lotsa positive vibes coming your way :)
Congratulations! I will also be sending good thoughts your way!
ReplyDeleteCongratulatiions! In my pregnancies after our loss I tried to keep in mind that the time I had spent in fear the first time around hadn't actually made the loss any easier, and that I had ended up cherishing the memories of my happy, confident times with that little one inside me. I had some success with that, but it's so hard. I'll be thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteMazel tov! Sending you sticky sticky thoughts :)
ReplyDeleteThis is such wonderful news! Thank you for trusting us with your secret; I really needed some good news so this is such a wonderful treat for me. :-)
ReplyDeleteCongratulations!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations!! I also shared online before sharing with my mom...I didn't want to share the excitement in case there was sadness. Good luck! Timing is never right - we were stunned about how the timing worked out this time - but things have a way of working out! - Tkeys
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