Thursday, July 22, 2010


I hate this place.

While I was running today, I tripped and fell.  I panicked, breathed deeply as much as possible trying to calm myself down.  I told my abdomen it was fine, and walked as calmly as I could (which was not really calmly at all) back to the office.

I'd fallen on my side, not on my stomach or back ... and I know that falling doesn't necessarily cause miscarriage, but tonight I'm feeling achy in my lower back, and I can't help but worry ... I have felt that achy feeling before.  S. is away on business, and I am alone.

What has loss done to me, to my sense of confidence in my own body?

I hate this place.
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  1. How scary for you! As you say, it may not mean anything. But I can understand why you're worried. I hope all is well and am sending healthy thoughts towards you and your abdomen (in a totally non-creepy way, I hope!). It there any doctor you can contact or hospital or anything? May be worth it so you're not feeling the fear.

  2. I hate that place too, and I'm so sorry you're there. It's just not fair at all.

    The aching may simply be from the way you fell, or the way you probably immediately tensed up in fear afterward.

    My advice would be to see your doctor simply to put your mind at rest. I'm sure all is well, but a random blog commenter's opinion probably doesn't hold quite as much weight as an MD's.

    Thinking of you...


  3. They're right. It's probably nothing. You probably torqued your back as you fell, trying to protect your belly, and I bet you're carrying some tension in your body because of the worry.

    They're also right that you can go to your doctor in the morning for a check. I had a freak out with W and went in to sit on the monitor for a while for no good reason at all. You won't be the first woman to call them and ask for that reassurance.

    And I'm sorry you live in the fear place right now. It sucks. Keep breathing.

  4. I hate that place too, and I am sorry you are there right now.

    I agree with everyone else; thinking good thoughts for you and go to the doc in the morning to put your mind at ease.

  5. I hate this place, too. I'm so sorry - I hope you can get to the doc to ease your fears. I'm sure you're fine - I seem to remember consulting doctor google because of a similar (or the same, really) fear and found little to no evidence of a connection. But doctors/midwives/what-have-yous deal with these kinds of fears all of the time and I'm sure they would be happy to accommodate you. Update soon!

  6. I so know that feeling. I'm so sorry. But I really don't think you hurt the baby. Being punched in the stomach? That'd be bad, but falling on your side is just going to hurt you, not your uterus. I'm sure all is fine. But you could make an apt with your ob to see if you can go in for an ultrasound just to be sure. I'd probably do that to settle the nerves.

  7. Thanks, everyone. Most of what I found on Dr. Google (love/hate that practice) reassured me that everything was fine, but it's hard to ignore nagging little voices in your head. Part of me is thinking I should invest in a fetal heart monitor if this is how freaked out I'm going to be ... and part of me is thinking that I should just stop being so freaked out. The baby's heart is beating away just fine, according to the monitor at the doctor's office (though I had to wait an hour an a half to hear it), so they sent me off to worry about other things. I'll do my best.

  8. Oh goodness, glad you're okay. Infertility definitely makes our mind go to places it normally wouldn't go to.

    And those cupcakes look amazing.


  9. I've never suffered a miscarriage but I can tell you, after a fall your mind goes there anyway. When I was pregnant (REAL pregnant - BIG - many years ago), my dog who loved to run across a field, came barreling into me and I went up in the air like Charlie Brown when Lucy snatches the football away. I actually had time to think about how bad this fall was going to be. I fell flat on my back and I just laid there for a long time scared to move. Then I walked back home REALLY SLOWLY and VERY SCARED. My husband took me to the doctor right away and, as everyone has said in the previous comments, everything was fine. Baby was fine. I know you're probably coming from a different place because of your past experiences; just wanted to express that that was not a paranoid fear but a very reasonable one. I'm glad everything is alright. Best wishes to you!


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