We Must Increase Our Bust: Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies

Remember Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret?  The book my mother read before she let me read it (I read it clandestinely in the library anyway)?  That book told me more than anyone else ever had, up to that point, about my body.  It was also hilarious, in the way fourth grade could be:

“If you ever want to get out of those baby bras you have to exercise,” she told us. 

“What kind of exercise?” Gretchen asked. 

“Like this,” Nancy said. She made fists, bent her arms at the elbow and moved them back and forth, sticking her chest way out. She said, “I must — I must — I must increase my bust.” She said it over and over. We copied her movements and chanted with her. “We must – we must – we must increase our bust!” “Good,” Nancy told us. “Do it thirty-five times a day and I promise you’ll see the results.”

Ah, Margaret.  Ah, Nancy.  If only there were a companion book for the infertile woman, the pregnant woman, and -- where I am now -- the breastfeeding mother.  No one ever tells you, for example, that your child who latches perfectly at the hospital will develop a lazy lower lip and begin to knaw, inexplicably, on your boob.  Or that fenugreek tea, which you are drinking to ensure a good milk supply since you are older, you know, can actually be bad for hypothyroid patients like yourself because fenugreek affects  thyroid levels.  You look wistfully at the box of Mother's Milk tea you just bought (your fourth or fifth box so far, you can't recall--you've been drinking three cups a day religiously since you got home from the hospital), and wonder, now what?  You're eating oatmeal every morning ... how else can you beat back those demons of lactation insecurity?  I must increase my bust, you think.

Enter: the oatmeal cookie.  With flaxseed.  And brewer's yeast.  How often are you told that you should eat cookies for health reasons?

They may not be quite as effective as fenugreek, but I think I will be sending some of these to some very lucky nursing moms I know.  You can also make them if you're not nursing; they're really, really good; I know some men who eat them by the dozen.  You can pretend you're making them for a new mom, and snag a few dozen for yourself.  No one will be the wiser.  And as an added bonus, if you're not pregnant, you can eat the raw dough.

Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies for Nursing Moms, Friends, and Anyone Else

1 c. coconut oil (or Olivio)
1 1/4 c. coconut palm sugar
3/4 c. sucanat
4 T. water
2 T. flaxseed meal (found at health food stores; alternatively, get whole flaxseeds and grind them in a small Cuisinart or blender before using)
2 large eggs (using eggs with omega is beneficial, but not required)
1 1/4 t. vanilla
2 c. flour (whole wheat is best, but half and half is fine)
1 t. baking soda
1 t. salt
1/4 c. brewer's yeast (NOT nutritional yeast; found in health food stores)
3 c. oats, thick cut work best
1 1/4 c. or more bittersweet (60% cocoa or more) chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Mix flaxseed meal with water and set aside.

Beat butter and sugars well.  Beat in the eggs.  Beat in flaxseed mix and vanilla. Sift together the flour, brewer's yeast, salt and baking soda, and add to butter mix. Beat well. Stir in oats and chips.

Drop by rounded tablespoons onto baking sheet an inch apart; bake for 12-15 minutes.  I found that just shy of 12 was perfect, and they continued to bake just a bit while cooling, but stayed nice and chewy.  I have yet to have anything useful to say about how they stay, though, because I keep eating them as they come out of the oven.