The Making of a Blog, the Making of Me, and the Making of Soup

My last post, about the photography contest, got me thinking about journeys in identity-formation ... both this blog's journey, and my own.  In some respects, this blog has never really known what it's about: I started writing about food and life, about a lack of clarity about my future, not talking yet about our inability to conceive or keep a pregnancy ... then, finally diagnosed with secondary infertility, it became about my identity as a female of childbearing age unable to conceive and questions about our future as a family ... and since I found out I was pregnant, it's been some strange combination of worry, disbelief, and tales of coping with the CSA bounty (which threatened to stage a coup this summer and take over all blog posts).  It's a wonder that I still have faithful readers and commenters (thanks, all of you, who find my little blog worth following!  You make writing feel more meaningful.).  This thing really is half-baked.

Looking back over the year, I found this post, in which I rant about doctors, and start talking explicitly about infertility and pregnancy loss, and noticed how connected my thoughts and worries about family and infertility were to my thoughts about my career and the next step in my professional life.  Since then, either I've come full circle, or I've gone nowhere at all: five months pregnant, I am still trying to figure out what's next, cooking and blogging my way through one day at a time, perhaps a little wiser now about the connections between produce and the growing season, a little more knowledgeable about sustainability, having remembered that I like to write.  The uncertainty of "what's next" is compounded by the (wonderful) fact that this pregnancy is looking like it just might actually result in a live baby, even though many days that still seems completely unreal to me. 

Should blogs be forced to categorize themselves (certainly, if I wanted more readers, I'd settle on ONE thing to write about)?  I wish I had more clarity.  If only life came with recipes.

I was going to post Curried Pumpkin Bisque to make up for all of the sweet pumpkin recipes lately, and pay homage to the Australian followers (all of whom are clearly wonderful women with excellent taste!), but then realized that I'd already posted that recipe, long ago when this blog was just weeks old.  So I'll leave you with that link to the old post (please do click above and check it out ... it's perfect for this season), and yet another winter greens recipe, because this week's box included chard, spinach, arugula, collards, and radicchio.

Cannellini and Chard Soup

1 T. olive oil
12 oz. spicy vegetarian Italian sausage (or regular if you prefer)
1 yellow onion
8 oz. mushrooms, sliced
2 cloves garlic, minced
4 c. cannellini beans, soaked (about 2 c dry), rinsed and drained (canned is OK, too ... 2 cans should work)
2 qt stock (vegetable, chicken, or other)
1 bunch collard greens (about 12 oz), chopped (you can also use chard or kale here)
3 T salt
1/2 t black pepper

Saute up the onion, garlic, and sausage in a little bit of olive oil until the onions are just translucent.  Add mushrooms and continue to saute until most of the liquid is gone.  Add beans and stock, and cook about 15 minutes.  Add greens and cook until the greens are just wilted.  Salt and pepper to taste!